Monday, 21 July 2014

An Unsent Letter

Writers Note : This part of my blog " an unsent letter " is totally a fictional one and is written while i was on an emotional roller-coaster. So i kindly request my readers not to brood on this article and any personal questions posed to me will not be answered. Your feedback is appreciated and it would be my pleasure if you can share your feeling down the line in my comment box.


Hi Dad,

I just don’t know how to start this letter.  May be, I’ll feel comfortable if I could open up myself and express to you all my thoughts that I have suppressed within myself since ages.

I’m lonely, disturbed, depressed, worried mixed with an emotional touch of love. I know this would be an abrupt start and I know that the introduction for this letter is too bad. I couldn't even phrase a single line to know your well being.

Dad, I haven’t forgotten all those special moments shared with you. But, I've completely lost myself in this part of my life where I left behind someone whom I can never get back in my life. I love her dad. Life’s changed a lot from the day she left me. I tried, but, can’t stop myself from falling deeper and deeper in love with her. Don’t know how I can live without her now and I don’t even know how I did all these years.

There were days we both walked along the lonely roads, days we had some silent talks, days we both missed each other like we had no tomorrow, days we kissed each other, days we hugged each other in such a way that even air couldn't separate us, days we quarreled, days we dreamt of our future and long romantic nights we spent talking over the phone. Each and every memory of her is still fresh in my heart as if all those happened yesterday. She left me with those memories and I’ll never forget them till my very last day.


Our parting was very dramatic, the moment I came to realize the fact that she left me in those lonely roads, ripped my heart out. I cried the whole night in our basket ball court with my broken heart and loving her with all those broken pieces. That day, I didn’t want to let her go but, right now I was only left with the desire that I want her back in my life. Just couldn't do anything than to cry out loud watching her leave me, leaving me over there completely shattered. 


Dad, Behind this facade of mine, you will find a heart that cried out loud which no one could hear, My smile is now painted and I'm a master of disguise but just look deep into my masked face which tells you a different story, a story of anger and pain and you think I'm still happy, Just look again and the scars that are hidden under my clothes will lead you to a place where no one knows, a place where no other person can imagine, a place fully echoed with cries of a lonely heart, a place where i was stabbed to death hundred's of times.

Don’t know when I’ll be able to erase her from my heart completely and I even wonder if I ever will be able to forget her completely. In spite of whatever had happened between us, I keep missing her a lot. Dad, I don’t know why it happens again and again almost at every moment. Whenever I try to forget about everything, all those comes back and hits me hard like a rock.

Dad, those lonely days really scared me a lot. I was fully obsessed with her thoughts. I woke up searing with drugs. I got fully addicted to them. They always gave me an immense happiness. At last found out happiness. I drank and drank, all the day until her thoughts fully left me. But, I could do nothing about my heart. Even now, it’s suffering from that old wound which never healed completely. Most of the time, I was alone, sitting in a dark room smoking all the time listening to the old classics. Thanks to my friends who helped me to get over her. I did whatever I needed to do to get over her. I even consulted a psychiatrist and used some medications. Slowly things changed totally.

Dad, you asked me to promise that I would forget her. The day I promised you, you lost your son forever. I’m no more the same and you can never get your son back. Remember, you can never take her away from my heart. She’ll always be the one I love till my last breath.

Dad, do u remember the day when mom fell sick. That was the first time I saw tears in your eyes. I know you tried to hide it from others and I know you love mom a lot. That moment something happened to me, I decided to love a girl like the way you loved mom. I loved her the same way. Dad, you are my hero, you are my strength, you are my weakness and you mean a lot to me. A lot means my whole life.

You did a lot for me, you are my best friend and I love you Dad. You are the best dad in the whole world. You sacrificed many things for my happiness. But, I’m not happy and you will never believe me if I say I’m not happy. I’m pretending to be happy with a wide smile on my face and bawling deep down my heart. Dad, I promise you, I’ll continue to be happy just to make you happy. I couldn’t even escape from this unbearable hell, life without her sucks. I just hate this life Dad.

Dad, lastly I can never forgive you or her father or God whoever it may be, mercilessly has ended my happiness with a dot.

Yours Loving son,
Manu

PS : If you find the awesomeness of this post. Please do comment and share it on your social profiles

10 comments:

  1. Manu , u explained every minute expression of a love failure ...I really Loved this.....

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  2. It's really awesome.. Each line in the post describes the depth of a true love.. Amazing work...

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  3. I hope that the tides change. And I wish you to find all the happiness that you deserve

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  4. Well said! You wrote with feelings and nicely expressed the emotions you were experiencing. I have often found that writing is a good way to release our feelings, as we're sometimes unable to do so verbally. All the best to you.

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    1. Yeah well said Michelle. You are absolutely true. Thanks for your comments. Please do read all my posts if possible

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